“Dime este culo es mío!!”
“All this ass is yours Papi, AHHHhhh!!!” I screamed as he dug into me deeper, pulling my hair as he long stroke me from the back, those heavy balls lewdly smacking against my ass. “Damn.. You got too much dick, ugh, I’m bout to tap out Santigo..”
“No, c’mon baby, is alright, I promise I’ma take my time, turn over.” He commanded, flipping me on my back, tucking my knees to my chest. “You want me to make love to you, huh baby? Tell Big Papi make love to you, I wanna hear it..”
“Make love to me Papi, please.. Ahhugghhhh..mmhmm!” I cried and groaned at the same time, as he lined his thick crown with my hole, slowly sinking in all eight inches.
I was seeing stars as he twist and turn in my guts, hitting my spot with his rhythmic thrusts, I grip his thick muscular arms for support as if they could keep me from floating away into ecstasy. My ankles were wrapped around his neck, locked tight, and I probably resemble some circus contortionist but I didn’t care..
There was something about this man, like fate had brought us together, I had truly met the man I could love, live, and die with, leaving me so sure I’d spend the rest of my life with him. Santiago aka Bloodhound, had been my saving grace in all this, I never thought that I, of all people, could find such passion in the apocalypse. My heart had hungered for this kinda love for so long, I thought I was doomed to watch others be so fortunate to have it, while I sat on the shelf to rot, never wanted nor desired.
“coño, que el sabor tan bueno, mi amor..”
Now I had someone that craved for me, that wanted all of me, as much as he could take, and I was oh so willing to give everything to those I loved.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Caiden? All this time I thought he was still out there.. And if you neard the things they said they were doing to Loki..” I paused, feeling myself getting upset again, I had to tread lightly on the subject or this would go nowhere. “You gave me the impression he would be free once they ran the tests they needed, it took Jerry to finally tell me the truth, he pretty much said we would probably never see him again, and that Loki was property of Arkham now.. What’s the meaning of this?”
“Look, we have to remember the big picture here.. this could save us, save us all, save all of humanity. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices, your cousin will be remembered as a hero to his species.”
“That wasn’t the deal, you said they weren’t gonna..”
“I know what I said!!” He yelled, getting frustrated with all my questioning, I admittedly backed down because he’d never raised his voice at me before, he softened his tone when he saw my face. “Look, I’m sorry, it’s just that I’m under a lot of pressure.. I was told in more ways than one, that there is only enough room and rations down here for ‘essential personnel’, I’m fighting hard for us to stay alive, and for that to happen, we have to stay here till the ships come for us, then I have to be seen as essential enough to get us a ticket on it. So you can’t blame me if I’m playing by the rules, I’m keeping my mouth shut and being a good soldier, good soldiers follow orders, that’s it.”
“But they plan to do something to Caiden as well, wasn’t he your friend? You told me he saved your life once.. How can you repay him with such apathy?”
“You don’t understand Balthazar, ese es el problema.. Look, they have me leading another squad out tonight, this will all be over when we find the girl, don’t you get it? That’s our golden ticket to make it onto one of the ARCs, we can finally escape all this and make some kind of life for us.”
“No, the problem might be that I think I’m starting to really get what’s going on now.” I replied, getting up from the bed we shared, I noticed the time and started to throw on my work detail uniform. “A wise man asked me this once.. what’s the use in saving humanity, only to pay the price with our souls?”
He stare at me in silence, and I could see so many emotions in those dark Spanish eyes, there was anger, resolve, doubt, deference, and defiance.. but none of them matched the love.
The fires of his passion for me burn too bright, still, he hadn’t an answer for my question, just constant deflection. I lean down to where he lay on the bed, giving him a quick kiss to his lips, brief, though I could tell he wished it lingered.
“I received a message from Mr. Donovan’s assistant, can you believe I’m supposed to cater a lunch meeting on floor Forty Two, that’s the Oasis Gardens, isn’t that exciting?” I asked, but he seemed like he could care less, but then again he had probably been there a hundred times by now. “I’ve never been past the Thirty Third.. the clearance protocols in this place are ridiculously stringent, I have to be scanned for every door as I enter and exit, and that’s if I can even get to that level in the first place.. the security presence is a bit of an over kill, don’t you think?”
“With plenty good reason, after what happened in the mess hall, hopefully you can see that now. ”
“Yeah, I see..” I sighed walking to the door, waving my hand over the scanner, so I could exit.
I was so nervous, not realizing I had checked over the food I’d prepared for a fourth time, it had been so long since I’d used fresh ingredients, these people had actual garden fresh vegetables and herbs. There were various meats that were always pink, I didn’t dare ask where they got it, instead, praying none of it resembled anything human.
I about had a fit when I receive the diners request, especially being a week into the job, things were a hot fuckin mess. The last kitchen manager hung himself, after his wife had succumb to a malignant tumor that was too close to her brain to operate on, even with the marvels of today’s medicine. He had been quite known around here, and had served in the position since the End of Days began, still I was determined to excel in whatever world I had to live in.
Pushing the food cart into one of the elevators, I paused momentarily to scan my hand over the console, Mr Donovan’s assistant told me I had a single revolving door trip to floor Forty Two, and I could only shake my head at the excessive procedures taken. When I arrived, I was immediately met by the assistant, who still hadn’t given a name, she was a medium tanned complexion and was meticulously put together, down to her sharp angle spectacles to compliment her slick back ponytail. She checked over the food cart before she even said a word to me, and even then, it was a curt ‘this way.’ like she was some kind of robot.
The corridors on this floor looked like any other I had been on, and I was starting to be severely underwhelmed, that is, until we pass through an arch that opened up into a giant dome. I looked up slack jawed, knowing it had to scale thousands of feet, as it was giving you the feeling you just might be outside. There was exotic foliage and wildlife all over, birds even flitter overhead. This was the most beautiful place I had ever seen, yet the assistant couldn’t be bothered with looking around, her eyes were in her tablet and she spoke into an unseen mic, giving orders to who ever she was speaking to.
Finally we came to a quaint table set up on a green lawn, next to a lake that had a waterfall on the far side. This place was unbelievable, I was so struck by the beauty, so much so I didn’t hear when the assistant had started talking to me till she rudely snapped her fingers in front face.
“You need to be focused on the task at hand, we can’t have any mix ups, Mr Donovan’s guest will be too important for any unforeseen incidents, so be rest assured mistakes will not be tolerated. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I do.. It’s just this place is immaculate, you never would have seen something like this where I grew up.. It’s just crazy to think about.”
“I’m sure that story would have been a lovely Oprah special, but I don’t think she made it, so moving on..” She said with a straight face, quickly dismissing me, and clearly uninterested in anything I had to say. “Did you remember the fresh squeezed orange juice? Madam President only drinks freshly squeezed beverages.”
“Yes, and I made my famous lemonade lime fusion as a backup just in case.. Umm, I didn’t know the President was going to be at this lunch.”
“Good, now you understand why it is imperative we don’t have any fuck ups, now it’ll just be you three, so make sure you are invisible to them, just another part of the scenery, like furniture.”
I nodded, suddenly getting nervous all over again, I knew Mr Donovan was important, though I still wasn’t quite sure what the hell he did around here, but the if the president would be attending, it was best to be on my A Game. I looked around for the assistant, but she had left me alone, just standing there, wondering what the hell to do, that was when he walked in.
The man was wearing an expensive looking tailored ivory suit, that had a modern slim cut, showing off his lean but muscled form. He looked different from the last time I’d seen him this close, his face wasn’t as clean shaven, but it looked good on him. Who knew a man so rugged could look so clean, I couldn’t help but stare at such a stallion, that was until he caught me looking, causing me to remember I was supposed to be happy in love and something akin to a stray coaster on a counter.
Nothing was said between us for the few minutes it took for the President to arrive with her six secret service personnel, who all spread out amongst the park, effectively disappearing. I was curious as to why she had this much security, weren’t we supposed to be in some kind of sanctuary? We were supposed to be safe, but maybe someone like her couldn’t afford to feel safe, even at home.
A modest and humbly attractive woman, if she wasn’t so stern in the face, her short grey hair was cut in a serious and precise bob. Dressed in a peach and pink ensemble, that offset her hard demeanor, like she was trying to prove she was girly, when in fact I, myself, would probably look more at ease in the pale pastel, she couldn’t look any more uncomfortable. I moved in swiftly, placing their glasses down and filling them with orange juice first.
“Mr. Donovan, I would say it’s a pleasure, but under such circumstances.. You understand if I’m not in the happiest of moods.”
“Madam President, make no mention of it, we are all in this with you. The Arkham scientists have finally synthesized a cure, so the Ellison boy has fulfilled at least part of his obligations to the treaty, he told us where to find them and he said they could do it. I advise we follow through as well..”
“I know, I know dammit.. I just hate that the smug little shit is gonna get away with double crossing us, AND getting the glory of saving us as well, I’m just waiting for the ‘gotcha’ moment.” She replied, sipping from the glass, I tried not to look as if I was paying attention while I checked the food. “He is probably the cause of all this mayhem, I still believe he did this on his own.. The timing was just too perfect, they set to launch on a project that was supposedly over budget, under funded, and behind schedule, an hour after the world goes to shit!! Why hold a plague such as this in their labs at Arkham? We weren’t funding biological warfare, what they were doing there is treasonous..”
“We still have no proof anything he did was the cause of this catastrophe, and it pains me to say it, but trusting him is the only way we survive this, like it or not, he has the upper hand. We have to face it that Earth may be lost, and we have to get off this planet as soon as we can.”
“Enough about him for now, what’s the report on the other eastern strongholds? Have we truly lost South Carolina and Florida?”
“There is valiant effort to maintain our hold in Charleston, but Spartanburg and Columbia are gone, and as for Florida, no one there has checked in since the last logged incident five days ago, they’ve been deal with back to the back category 3 hurricanes, so things don’t look promising.”
I jumped in surprise as the woman slammed her fist on the table, nearly spilling her drink as I went to refill it, Minerva Rockefeller had always had a hard edge about her the many times I’d seen her on televised interviews, but this was an iron maiden of a modern age, she was fierce.
“Tell that bastard Ellison we will provide the Fusion Cores he needs, and I’m assuming we will have the girl he wants in our possession by the time the ARCs are scheduled to arrive? There is no time for further complications..”
“The last drone report showed heat signatures less than thirty klicks west of here, and we have a team of our most experienced heading out tonight, we expect to have her in custody very shortly, as they appear to be traveling on foot.”
“Excellent, do we have any idea why she’s so important to him yet? The answer might provide us more leverage.. I just can’t nag the feeling he has something up his sleeve, I just feel so unprepared, and outmatched, never have I felt this way.”
“Ma’am we always have contingency plans as back up, so there’s no need to worry. How about during our meal, we discuss it.”
I took that as my cue to bring out the first course, a freshly tossed garden salad and kale mixture, bordered by a sliced pineapple watermelon fruit salad around the edge of the plate, with an assortment of scratch made dressings on the side. They both seemed mildly amused by the plating of the dish, but neither mentioned it as they continued their conversation.
“At any moment, we could manage a take over of ARC 2, The itinerary we hacked into shows the ship to be carrying the bulk of non essential personnel. It would be our best chance to take him down..”
“Look into it further, run every possible scenario and have the report on my desk by next Friday, I also want an update on the subject we have detained on Thirty Nine? Now that we have what we need, I question the ethicality of our treatment of an American citizen, even under martial law. We have what we need, why detain him further?”
“As I’m to understand it, they need the Zeta patient for further testing once aboard the ARC, but if you insist..”
“I’ll have to sleep on it, let’s make sure we maintain some semblance of moral integrity with such a delicate situation.. If history won’t judge us, God surely will.”
I wondered if they were talking about Caiden, or maybe even Loki.. No matter how much I disliked Caiden, or how much I was afraid of Loki, neither of them deserved to be some lab experiment. Santiago had told me they would only be kept in quarantine for a short while, it wasn’t supposed to be like this, we were all supposed to find sanctuary here.
I moved to clear their plates, and switched out the glasses, filling the new ones with purified water, that had a hint of mint added, to clear their palate for the main course. For one plate, I had to sear a tender center cut steak to perfection, I had marinated it with a drizzle with of lime and sea salt. The other order was a vegetarian lasagna, that I manage to scrounge together from avocado and hummus, heavy with peppers. The neutral side dish was a stir fry of rice and broccoli, one portion mixed with other veggies, I admit I had gone all out, feeling the need to prove myself.
From what I was told when taking the position, the last ‘chef’ primarily used one of those dehydrated meals in a pill that had become popular as of late, the facility didn’t even have the amazing replication technology Mama Dee had at her place in the middle of no place. I had to search for the kitchen that I assumed the man had failed to utilize, and was surprised to see it was indeed used, and there were pictures of his wife all over.
So many of her in her room enjoying some of the most eclectic dishes, he had saved his talent, giving his most loved a taste of the world we had lost, while everyone else had to deal with cheap imitations of a home cooked meal. Still, I was proud of myself, nothing soothed me the way cooking did, it satiated my soul. So wrapped up in myself I wasn’t thinking about what I was doing, placing the wrong plate in front of the wrong person.
“What about me says I’m some grass feeder young man?”
“I think what Madam President is trying to say is, she didn’t get to her position without eating a little red meat haha” Mr Donovan cut in, quickly taking some heat off me, making light of the mishap.
“I wholeheartedly apologize..” I mentioned, noticing how offended she was, receiving a grunt for an answer, as she began to slice into the steak.
“Don’t worry yourself, everything smells delicious.” He replied, giving me this dashing smile, filled with so many sparkling white teeth, it nearly blinded me.
I’m sure I turned slightly red in the face, but now wasn’t the time to be distracted by the charms of this man, not when I still had to get through serving dessert. Which was my famous ‘Sweet Potato Pie a la Mode’, sure to be a hit, these people won’t know what hit’m. For the first time since they had seen each other, neither was talking and too busy shoveling food in their mouths, so I took that as a good sign.
“Dear God, this is sinful..” The President said, as she was the first to be able to form whole words, Mr Donovan could only nod in agreement. “Where have you been all my life? I finally know what love is..”
“Oh, just around, you know.. Haha, I’m so glad you enjoy the meal, please save room for dessert.”
“I’m sorry to say, that the best thing to happen in the last few weeks was poor old Harrison hanging himself, because then we hired you.. This is amazing, you have quite the culinary gift, something the future of humanity could cherish from the past.” She continued, looking nostalgic, as I cleared away the plates.
“I will have to thank Bloodhound for recommending you for the job, I thought he was merely embellishing when he described what you could do with a few scraps and a fire, he has a good eye for talent.. he’ll go far with that.” The handsome Italian said to me, with this weird look in his eye that was all too familiar, I did my best to ignore it as I pour them some of the lemonade.
I went back to the cart, putting the finishing touches on dessert, while they continued to talk and reminisce. It seem this person that they were dealing with was the bane of their existence for a long time, back before the End of things, she spoke of her rival as if he were a villainous fiend. I’m sure he would be describing a woman like her the same way, I had come to learn our collective outlook was all governed by individual perspective, none of us seeing every situation the same. I tried to keep that in my head, as I return to the table, placing the plates before them.
“Thank you.. Umm, what do they call you young man?”
“Balthazar is my name, Madam President.” I answered smiling with pride, a bitch like me wasn’t some damn furniture, my presence demanded acknowledgment.
“This entire meal was absolutely decadent, I hope you won’t mind if I call on you for my personal delight quite often, even this lemonade tastes like sweet ambrosia. Balthazar.. I like it, a fine proper name for one so gifted, it was a pleasure to be served by you this afternoon, I must say.”
“I’ll second that, it was orgasmic to the tongue, I can’t wait to taste more..” Mr Donovan chimed in, as he licked some stray cream from his lower lip, oddly looking right at me.
“What a colorful way to describe my cooking, I guess that can only be taken as compliment, thank you both. Just let me know if you need anything else, I’ll just wait around to clean up after y’all finish.”
I went back to the cart to finish sorting everything, after a few minutes, I could see they weren’t done talking, laughing over more lemonade. I took a moment to look around the park, it really resembled a tropical oasis paradise, with bees and butterflies flying by, the botanical garden’s of New York had nothing on this place. I found myself skipping rocks, letting go of all that ever ready survival instinct, we had to live with on the surface, letting myself truly relax.
“This is all so beautiful, isn’t it?” Mr Donovan said softly, I jumped, scared out of wits, my left hand instinctively moving to my hip for a gun that wasn’t there.
“Oh, I’m sorry, you frightened me, I didn’t hear you walk up..” I replied, noticing his gaze was centered on my hand, a smirk on his lips. “But yes, this is beautiful, like out of a dream.”
“The President asked me to give you her farewells, you made quite the impression on her, a rare feat.. one to celebrate.” He moved in close as he spoke, taking the stone from my hand, sending it kicking across the water an amazing distance. “If you think this is nice, you should should see the Presidium Suites.. It’s where anyone of of importance resides, and its upgraded quarters are marvels in luxury some of you from the upper level aren’t used to. I offer invitation..”
“That sounds wonderful but I have so much work, I have to get all this cleaned up.” I replied, nervous at his advances, I started toward the table and began to clear the dishes.
“Oh you needn’t worry about that, if you wish, I can have my assistant assign someone to clean all this up.”
“It’s nothing I can’t handle, I find pride in every aspect of my work, even the dirty dishes at the end.”
“That doesn’t come as a surprise, one can taste your commitment in the food you create, it’s why I suggest you take my gesture of good faith and join me for the evening.”
“Look, I’m unbelievably appreciative of my talent being recognized by people of your stature, but I get the feeling I unintentionally gave you the impression I was single, I humbly decline your invitation because I’m in a monogamous relationship with one of your Officers.” I said, hoping he would get the hint this time, I already belonged to another.
“Ah, that’s what it is, hmm.. Santiago, the Bloodhound, it couldn’t be anyone else.”
“Yes, we’ve been together for awhile now, even before coming here.”
“Is that so, hmm.. a coupling due to desperation, I can forgive that you clearly were settling for scraps, how could you know where your next meal would come from. Now, you’ve made it back to civilization, you can untether yourself from everything holding you back. Why settle for a dull rock, when I’m offering you a diamond, next to me you would shine as bright as I do.”
“There’s more to our relationship than that.. He loves me, and I love him, that’s what makes me tether myself to him. He may appear as nothing but a rock, but maybe if I work at him hard enough, he might prove to be my diamond in the rough.”
“You misunderstand.. people, especially people like you, don’t decline my invitations.”
“Well, someone like ME just did, you can have a nice day Mr Donovan.” I shot back, beginning to push my cart, towards the path I had come.
My first mistake was turning my back on him, he hooked an arm around my neck and forcefully jerked my body backwards, causing me to stumble to the ground. I screamed but no one answered my cries, I made an attempt to scramble away, but received a swift kick to the ribs as a warning.
“You think you have a choice in this? What did you think this was? You people are property of the United States government, you eat here, you sleep here, you shit here, and you breathe our precious filtered oxygen. Did you think ‘Living Peacefully’ came for free? You’re going to learn quickly that you, and everyone else in this facility, belong to us, meaning YOU already belong to me. The offering of an invitation was simply a formality, a romantic gesture even.. but you chose to be stubborn.”
“You’re an animal.. a monster!”
“Pet names already baby, I see you’re acclimating just fine..” He replied with a slimy grin, as he took off his blazer and removed his cuff links. “Now get up!”
I shakily stood to my feet, shaking with rage, or trembling with fear, I couldn’t tell which at this point. Everything had gone from zero to a hundred so quickly, who knew the situation would escalate so severely. He stepped towards me again and this time I tried to push him away, but he grab hold of my wrists, spinning me around, tangling me up in my own limbs. There was a sharp kick to the back of my legs, causing me to fall to my knees, and he bent my arms painfully, so my back arched just right for him to grind his hardness into me. Salty tears burned my eyes, as struggling seem to only add to my agony, pain, and humiliation.
“Yes, I love the fight in you.. Only those who’ve been on the outside awhile, have this kinda instinct for survival, it makes for more fun to breaking you in.”
“Does the president know she has a fucking serial rapist working for her?!”
“Haha, you still haven’t learned anything have you? You think a pathetic woman like that could be in charge?” He broke out into more laugher, like it was the funniest thing in the world, I still didn’t get what was the joke. “She is but a piece on a chessboard, an expendable one a that, and people like you.. You’re not even considered pawns.”
“And people like you always get what’s due, karma and time will prove that..”
“Trust me, I know.” He whispered in my ear, sharply biting into the lobe after, making me cry out.
Scalding hot water, ruff bristles of a scrub brush, and countless tears weren’t enough to wash away the shame and discord within me. I couldn’t tell you how long I’d been in the shower trying to rinse away my disgust, beyond what was allowed for regulation, I was sure of it. It had definitely been several hours since my run in with Mr Donovan, the bastard had used me and left me there, curled in a ball, trying to cover myself in the tattered and torn uniform.
A short time later, the assistant came and found me, tapping her foot impatiently as I attempt to pull myself together. She basically told me to suck it up, I wouldn’t be his first or his last, but for right now, I was his favorite, and she was here to clean up another of her employers messes. She gave no comfort or care, only more instruction, apparently I was ‘on-call’ for the rest of the night, beck and call.
She also informed me of my new clearance level, but told me not to get too excited, just because I was allowed on the floors, didn’t mean I could freely roam the rooms. At the moment I could care less about where I could come or go, because I had long locked myself in my room.
“Babe, you okay in there?” Santiago asked me, from outside the bathroom door, I could tell he wanted to come in but he knew I wasn’t alright.
“I’m fine, be out in a moment.”
I hit the dryer button, and hoped it took care of any stray tears upon my cheeks, I had shown enough weakness today. Wrapping a towel around me, I exit into the bedroom to see a waiting Bloodhound, dressed in all his tactical gear, I kept forgetting they were sending a search party out tonight.
“Look, I know our conversation from earlier didn’t end on the best note, there are so many things I need to apologize for.. I didn’t plan on someone like you coming into my life, especially in the middle of all this. I just wanted to let you know I’m fighting.. Fighting for us, for our place here, and I won’t stop until I know I can keep you safe.”
“But.. I have to..”
“No, please, let it wait till I return.. I know there is plenty more to say, it’s just I want us to be good, anything can happen on the surface.” He spoke as if he were nervous, so I didn’t say anything else, as I walked up to him and kissing those soft lips.
He looked at me strangely, almost like he wanted to say something more, but he knew he would never be on time if he did. So when he turned to leave, I occupied myself by throwing on some clothes, finding one of my comfy old sweaters and a pair of fitted black denim jeans, opting for sneakers instead of the boots I had worn all day. Even being freshly washed and clothed didn’t take that dirty feeling away, I tried to relax in my room, but I couldn’t.
Such angst lead me to stray to the common area, where there was an entertainment center set up, that could display a cache of movies numbering in the thousands. The archives also contain classic video games, which Jerry in particular seem to love, to the bane of everyone else we shared the floor with. While many of the men housed with us, had to actually risk their lives in warfare, the spectacled nuisance had the pleasure of respawn in the games he played.
“Hey Tzar, grab a controller, play me in this fighting game I found on here.. c’mon buddy, you’re the only one around here who even pretends to like me a little bit, throw a dog a bone man, please?”
“No one likes you, because you’re a lazy son of a bitch, who sits on his ass all day.” I shot at him harshly, unable to mask the grin that had crept to my lips, as he mock gasped. “That, and you beat them at all their favorite games.”
We shared a short laugh, as I grabbed a spare controller and plopped on the couch next to him, hoping this would distract me from my troubles. Jerry and I had formed an odd twosome since our arrival, none of us really knew the people here, and they weren’t exactly the most outgoing bunch. He really was a cool guy, and I thought he sort of got a bad rep, because he was also an asshole.
Yet there was something about people who are unapologetic of who they are, and they own it, showing their true face to the world. After managing to win one of maybe twenty or so matches, I decided to retire with my head held high, inciting more comical applause from Jerry.
I step to the small kitchen on the other side of the room, it was stocked with mostly coffee and hydrated rations. I wasn’t hungry, but I knew I needed to put something in my stomach, because I had barely eaten this morning and the clock on the wall read a quarter to eleven. I decided to dehydrate an apple packet and said goodnight to Jerry on my way out, he was too busy playing the game to reply anything more than a mumble. Walking back to my room I had to pass by one of the elevators, the sudden opening of the doors, made me jump in surprise.
There were five soldiers packed inside, surrounding a medicine transport pod, the person on it was covered by a white sheet. There were tubes coming from under the blanket, like they were pumping him full of stuff, and extracting at the same time. It was a horrifying set up, so much so, I almost didn’t see Karishma in the back of the pack, looking down at a tablet.
The body started to shake and seize as the doors began to close, giving me the slightest glimpse of a familiar face, crowned with a head full of dreadlocks.
I gasped, not knowing what to do, looking up, I could see they had stopped on the Thirty Ninth floor. This was crazy, and my mind was racing like I had gone mad, like an anxiety attack was coming on. So many thoughts running through my head, all of them suicidal if I dare make an attempt to carry any one of them out.
Still, I knew the decision was already made for me, I knew what I had to do, my only hope was that Santiago would forgive me.